Once I accepted that she’d be born at St Joe’s, I had a calm come over me. No matter what, I would relax, and go with the flow. As my original birthing plan was shot to hell anyway, any small changes after this seemed minor.
We ended up in a regular L&D bed with no birth tub. During labor, Jessie had me go into the bathroom tub, which actually didn’t feel so great after the first minute or two. It was probably due to the slant sitting position and that I was so far along. I got out soon and knew the end was near. Strangely, walking during transition this time was not a problem. I ended up on the bed.
It honestly wasn’t until this time that the realization came that I would have this baby vaginally, 100% medication free, and on dry land. While refocusing on the hypno music, this hit me like a ton of bricks, to the vagina of course. WTF? What I crazy? I did not plan to have a baby outside the water! Surprisingly
I didn’t freak out over this though. I was refocused and constantly calmed by Brian and Jessie. But this did pose some problems. I hadn’t researched, nor practiced birthing positions outside the water.
What has not changed in 16 years, it that hospital beds high up, thin, and are awkward. I did make one attempt, turned around on my knees facing the rear of the bed, hanging over it with my arms dangling. This was only semi-comfortable and it was then that they fight or flight reflex kicked in. What the hell was I doing there? I wanted badly to march right out of that room and not stop until I was in the water birth room. Frustration built up, and it became harder to focus, thus slipping further away from the deepest levels of relaxation I should have been at in this point of labor.
Exasperated, I turned around and slid down and felt guided to the bed. The intensity increased 10 fold and this ladies and gents, is when I lost it. Compared to last time, my behavior to was completely lady like but I did say things such as “I don’t want to do this anymore”. “I’m done, I’m done, I’m DONE!” and “Get her out now!” I’m sure those present can remember the complete repertoire.